When your teenage daughter is dating a loser

And as with most things, the parents are the ones left shaking their heads and wondering why their teenager is dating such a loser. You noticed the unkempt hair, the cigarette lighter in his or her back pocket. You cringed when you heard him or her butcher the English language, and wondered how your child — a straight A student thus far, could possibly bear to be around someone that cannot use prepositions correctly.

And all this time, you thought your son or daughter was smarter than that, and would choose people in their live who would add substance rather than bring them to a lower stoop of the food chain.

The question is what should you do about it? Do you wait it out and hope that your teenager is simply dating a loser in order to make your skin crawl. Perhaps this is the teen version of a toddler drawing on newly painted walls with a sharpie. Maybe, this is just a phase. Or, maybe this is just a life experience that your child needs to go through on his or her own, in order to make better decisions the next time. Which there will BE a next time! Parents of teens are constantly trying to maintain the delicate balance of keeping the lines of communication open — and instilling good values in their kids.

As a parent, you know that if you tell your child NO, or dig in your heels — the possibility that they will skirt around your back and sneak out, or do what they want anyways, potentially putting themselves in danger — become higher. You have been there yourself. The first piece of advice for parents, who think their teen is dating is loser, is this!

You have spent years telling your child not to judge others, and to accept other people for who they are, not how they look. And, your stronger aversion toward this person WILL often make your teens attraction even more exciting.

That being said, you should sit down with your teen and make sure that there is a very clear cut set of rules in place that dictate the allowances and restrictions of the relationship. This way, you are not saying they cannot, under any certain terms — see the person — but rather that there will be rules that need to be followed.

It is a good idea to go over these rules while in the presence of your child, and their new love. Often times, if the new boy or girl on the scene thinks he has happened across overly strict or protective parents he or she may move on.

And so be it! Secondly, if you feel that the kid is a threat to your child, is involved in criminal behavior, or is using drugs etc.

Explain to your teen — and his or her partner, that you will report all activity to the police if the situation is not cleared up immediately. And if you have to, follow through. If you sense danger, or a lack of safety — or illegal activities, it is your responsibility as a parent to keep your TEEN safe.

Do so by all means. If the person seems fairly harmless, but you just get the feeling that your son or daughter could do better in the scope of human relationships, talk to your teen. Find out what it is about this new person that they are attracted to. Try to understand where they are coming from. You should still set rules and boundaries, especially in the beginning of the relationship, and let time take its course.

Often times, parents get up in arms about relationships that last approximately 2 weeks. Another tidbit of advice is for parents to do a little research on their own. Check out the kids that your son or daughters are hanging around with on Facebook. Find out where they live.

Ask friends, neighbors, fellow parents, teachers and other people about this new kid on the block and see what you can find out. You might be surprised just how much information is available on the internet. Your number one role in their life is to keep them safe. In the long run, your judgment and initial opinion is probably spot on. Hopefully, if your teen is dating a loser, they will have the presence of mind to figure it out on their own and the relationship will fall on the low end of the scale.


How to Get a Teen to Stop Dating a Loser Approaching her with love and concern is crucial to persuading her to stop dating a loser. Seek the help of a trained mental health worker if you believe your daughter is being abused physically, emotionally or sexually. Take her to a family and relationship counselor who can discuss strategies. Teen Daughter Being Controlled by Loser Boyfriend. Dr Joseph M Carver, PhD. Ask Your Own Question! Reader’s Question. Are You Dating a Loser? Stockholm Syndrome: The Psychological Mystery of Loving an Abuser; Emotional Memory Management: Positive Control Over Your Memories;.

Total 1 comments.
There are no comments on this entry....