The key to dating is withholding

Wintery Knight Comments Dennis Prager features a lot of discussions about male-female relationships on his show, particularly during the male-female hour. I think this is one of the parts of his show that I really like best, because he knows what he is talking about. He did a two part series a while back on 1 male sexuality and 2 what women should do about it within a marriage.

Part 1 is here. It is an axiom of contemporary marital life that if a wife is not in the mood, she need not have sex with her husband. Here are some arguments why a woman who loves her husband might want to rethink this axiom. A husband knows that his wife loves him first and foremost by her willingness to give her body to him.

This is rarely the case for women. Few women know their husband loves them because he gives her his body the idea sounds almost funny. This is, therefore, usually a revelation to a woman. This is a major reason many husbands clam up. A man whose wife frequently denies him sex will first be hurt, then sad, then angry, then quiet. And most men will never tell their wives why they have become quiet and distant. They are afraid to tell their wives. They are often made to feel ashamed of their male sexual nature, and they are humiliated indeed emasculated by feeling that they are reduced to having to beg for sex.

When first told this about men, women generally react in one or more of five ways… He then explains the 5 ways that women respond to this. You have to be kidding. There have to be deeper ways than sex for me to show my husband that I love him. In fact, many younger women today struggle with the idea that there is anything different about men that they need to learn.

Younger feminist women today often think that they only need to be in touch with their own feelings — and that men and children simply have to get used to the idea that they have no right to make any demands on a woman — she has no moral obligations in a marriage.

You have it backwards. I think this whole problem of feminist women not understanding men, and of demeaning male feelings and values, is very serious. In my opinion, there is a whole lot of work that needs to be done by feminism-influenced women in order to fix this problem. The best place to learn about this is in Dr. Sex is one thing, but a serious man should insist that a woman take him seriously — and take marriage and children seriously.

Pre-marital sex, having fun, getting drunk, and going out, etc. She said yes, and acted as though I were crazy for asking. They just want what they want and in the quickest way possible. Understand the needs of men and children, or how feminist-inspired laws discourage men from committing to marriage and parenting, are of no interest at all. Part 2 is here. Here are eight reasons for a woman not to allow not being in the mood for sex to determine whether she denies her husband sex.

He then explains the eight reasons. Many contemporary women have an almost exclusively romantic notion of sex: It should always be mutually desired and equally satisfying or one should not engage in it. But, given the different sexual natures of men and women, this cannot always be the case. If it is romance a woman seeks — and she has every reason to seek it — it would help her to realize how much more romantic her husband and her marriage are likely to be if he is not regularly denied sex, even of the non-romantic variety.

I think that younger feminist women seem to think that their role in the relationship is to sort of do nothing and wait for the man to serve them. But relationships take work, and they take work from both participants. At the end of the article, Prager makes a general point about women that I think needs to be emphasized over and over and over: I think that is an excellent question to ask a woman.

What does it mean to love a man? I think that she said these things out of sympathy and understanding of that man, and that was very encouraging. But I think that kind of seriousness about taking of someone else as they really are, self-sacrificially, is rare. And it makes me wonder what people think that marriage is when they get into the church and make vows that, ostensibly, will require self-sacrifice. What do women think that marriage is?

What is the goal of it? What makes a marriage successful? Why do women think that men marry? What do men get out of marriage? I think these are questions that men should ask women. And the should not be satisfied with glib answers.

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